Marrying Ross Poldark: Demelza's Daring Gamble In the Shadow Of Elizabeth

 'If Ross had not wished to marry her she would not have fretted for something else: but his decision to make the union legal and permanent, his honouring her with his name, was a sort of golden crown to set upon her happiness.'

'Ross Poldark' Internal book 3 Chapter 1 part 2

On reflection, while Ross's proposal of marriage was an offer which it would have seemed was too good for Demelza to turn down, because of what could be referred to as Ross's 'baggage', it could have been considered a 'risky decision'. Demelza had agreed to marry a man that not only was well above her station but who as the readers were at that point led to believe, was in love with another woman. That woman had her stall set up by Winston Graham as the dream woman of the county. Indeed Elizabeth was written as a most beautiful woman who was Ross's unrequited first love and was also a gentlewoman. In being so Elizabeth was demure and patrician and of Ross's own class. As the excerpt heading this essay expresses, Demelza in her happy go lucky manner of floating through life moved through it with an admirable optimism which meant that while she relished and was illuminated by the opportunity to be Ross's wife, she did not desperately depend on this either. However, in Demelza's naivety she perhaps did not consider marriage to Ross Poldark as a 'daring' gamble or consider the long term implications and challenge that might form a cloud or tension over the marriage indefinitely. This is by virtue of it being a marriage in the shadow of Elizabeth. 

With Elizabeth being the woman Ross had intended to marry originally, accepting Ross's proposal of marriage was potentially Demelza stepping forward to fill Elizabeth's shoes. That would be in respect of the ideal Elizabeth presented and thus Demelza would be the alternative and the replacement at the same time. Putting Demelza's seemingly lowly credentials against Elizabeth's seemingly superior credentials, many, particularly of that time period would likely argue that Demelza was bound to be a woefully poor replacement for Elizabeth and that in time Ross would come to see this and perhaps resent Demelza for this. Then thoughts could be turned to why Demelza did not just stay in her place by marrying a miner or a fellow commoner, and why she instead took on the gamble of marrying Ross when she might always be in Elizabeth's shadow. This post explores the nature of the risk that Demelza took on and why the circumstances were such that she slipped in to this either obliviously or dismissive of it. 

Marrying Demelza- Ross’s Engaging And Vital Blessing (A Satisfying Decision)

 

"There was the theme I wanted to express, dealing with the Ross- Elizabeth-Francis triangle...Into it also had come the engaging and vital character Demelza, who by now was intent on altering the shape of the story."

Winston Graham -'Woman Magazine' 10th December 1977

This is a follow up to 'Marrying Demelza: The Engaging and Vital Character (Foiling Elizabeth- Saving Ross)'. That focused on Demelza's vital role in altering Ross's life. This involved Demelza unintentionally provoking him to change his life philosophy so he could move even more sharply forward in his journey of moving on from Elizabeth. It then also involved her foiling Elizabeth’s plan for some kind of romantic reconciliation with Ross. That was by Demelza causing Ross to see her as another option and as ‘the obvious way out’, while good timing also played a hand in this too. So as considered in that previous post Demelza probably saved Ross a lot of heartache from something messy and unlikely to work out with Elizabeth anyway. Of course, while Ross was a blessing to Demelza and she often had these thoughts of gratitude about this, this post now looks at how Graham seemed to push and emphasise a strong narrative of Demelza being drafted into the story as a blessing to Ross and was his saving grace. This included the way she continued to play both a vital and engaging role for him beyond their wedding day as his wife, and how she fundamentally brought to his life things that he had never experienced and which made him happy. It’s to be presumed that this for Ross was most likely happier than he would have been without Demelza and with someone quite unlike her. That includes Elizabeth. In doing so, like a true heroine this post essentially does celebrate how Demelza served as a character that continued to have a major transforming effect on Ross that carried through beyond their day of marriage and impacted quite favourably on his quality and enjoyment of life. 

Marrying Demelza: The 'Obvious Way Out' For Ross (Duty Or Desire)

'It was not that he loved her but that such a course was the obvious way out.'

Winston Graham's narration on Ross’s decision to marry Demelza  ('Ross Poldark' Internal book 3 chapter 1)

It may be tempting to assume that Ross married Demelza before after sleeping with her it was the 'right thing to do' as if he was motivated by a moral duty rather than it fulfilling a personal need of his and a desire. However it is not written that Ross ever thought of his marriage decision to Demelza as 'the right thing to do' and Winston Graham never narrated this either. So why did Ross Poldark decide on marrying Demelza? To some the answer to this question was never spelt out explicitly in Winston Graham's narration. In the post called 'The Magic Of The Fall In Love' the focus is on that magical moonlit night of 6th August 1787 when Ross new himself to be in love with Demelza after he had already married her. But while it is likely that the process of falling and being in love occurred beforehand, but without Ross knowing exactly when, what is clear is that whatever Ross's feelings were for Demelza on 1st June 1787 when he decided to marry her, he did not believe or know himself to be in love with her at that specific time. This therefore begs that question about Ross's reasoning for deciding on marriage to Demelza. This is especially in light of Winston Graham’s narration that for Ross Poldark 'It was not that he loved her but that such a course was the obvious way out.' Since the 'obvious way out' is not necessarily the same as the 'right thing', to truly understand why Ross married Demelza one therefore has to work out what marriage to Demelza was the obvious way out from for Ross. In tandem with this that includes exploring whether he made this decision because of a moral duty to her or because he genuinely wanted to at the time. 

The Mystery Of The Way Out: A Moral Duty Or A Wish To Marry?

Graham's line about the 'obvious way out' is pretty vague and so this does not assist in understanding what marrying Demelza was a way out from. Even though the line does not mention what this might have been, or indeed anything about a moral duty, it may certainly stir up thoughts that a moral duty to marry Demelza should be the natural presumption as to what Graham meant by this on Ross's behalf. However, when looking at the fuller picture that Graham provides, and when also looking at Ross's state of mind at the time of deciding to marry Demelza, it is apparent that this ‘obvious way out’ meant something quite different for Ross than a moral duty. Instead it is clear that this 'obvious way out' was something that Ross saw as a positive life changing move on his part, so that marriage to Demelza was in his interests just as much as it may have been in her's too. 

Reassurances of First Choice Pt2 (Did Ross Poldark Settle For Second Best Choosing Demelza Over Elizabeth?)

This is the part two to the topic question of 'Did Ross settle for second best choosing Demelza over Elizabeth?' The part one post addressing this is titled 'A Discovery of Preference'. To briefly recap, the premise of that post was inspired from Winston Graham's 1978 interview for an American newspaper whereby talking of his Poldark books he explained that "It's the story of a man who is deprived of the woman he loves, then discovers once he has her, that he is really in love with his wife." Therefore that post followed Ross's journey of 'discovery' as to his feelings after his night with Elizabeth on 9th May. It was that journey in understanding his feelings that led him to realise that his preference and his genuine wish was to be with Demelza on the basis that she was his 'true and real love' and Elizabeth was not. 

This post now focuses on how Ross reinforced to Demelza (and the reader) that choosing her was his sincere choice. When it comes to the question of whether Ross settled for Demelza then naturally Ross's grand speech to Demelza that Christmas Eve 1793 has to be the main point of reference. This is because this was a declaration which essentially was an outpouring not only of his feelings for her as his preferred choice but his solid case and reassurances as to the truth of this.  The follow up post 'Foretelling and Reaffirmations of A Love More Real' will look at how Ross's discovery from 'that May Incident' was foretold even before that event and was reaffirmed afterwards.  

Release Of A Long Running Truth

Ross did seem to drag his feet when it came to reconciling with Demelza after 'that May incident' with Elizabeth. In taking seven whole months a natural assumption might be that he did not move with the speed of a man who wanted and craved for a reconciliation with Demelza desperately. However in the part one of this post topic we saw that Ross used that time to process his feelings and his confusion primarily over what Elizabeth meant to him against what Demelza did. The reconciliation was a long time coming when it came and the reason for this will be under a microscope in an upcoming post called 'What took Ross So Long Choosing Demelza Over Elizabeth?' However for now the length of time taken should not mislead the reader as to Ross's certainty of mind. In fact the reverse is true. 

Love in Loss (Ross And Demelza Poldark: The Love Story Pt8)

"To feel so deeply about one's children is a great happiness- and a great danger."

Ross Poldark - Twisted Sword 

So far there have been blogs in the Ross and Demelza's love story documenting the high romance prominent particularly in the early stages but also of their love in more challenging times. In a way it was in times of adversity that their love for each other stood out even more glaringly. Perhaps that is because it was in those times when they most needed to demonstrate it to get them through together. This blog looks at the circumstances around their worst experiences in the losses of their children, how their love for each other saw them through those bereavements and also the impact that temptation from other distractors had on their love in their time of loss.

Julia 

A Stronger love than before

There is a quote from an unknown author saying that 'The couples that are meant to be, are the ones who go through everything that is meant to tear them apart, and come out even stronger.' Julia's death was one of the worst and most tragic blows in Ross and Demelza's marriage. It was like a final nail in the coffin of a whole host of other problems at the time. Without a strong foundation of love it could easily have brought this marriage to its knees.

Julia's death was due to her catching the 'putrid throat disease'. Without his own confirmation as narrator, Graham wrote the circumstances of this so that the natural assumption to Ross and readers was that transmission of this disease was from Demelza after she cared for Francis, Elizabeth and Geoffrey Charles at Trenwith. They had been sick with the disease. Though it was very sad, it does seem that the main purpose of Julia's death was to be a plot device to support an ongoing theme that Graham had consistently woven into Ross and Demelza's love story. The post '9 Big Deaths of Poldark-Julia Poldark pt1 (A Mystery of Blame)' explores the issue of presumption and possibilities regarding how Julia came to be infected and how this may have been even before the visit to Trenwith. However this plot device was another that showed them constantly conquering the worst challenges and threats thrown at them right through to the end of the saga. By the time of Jeremy's death they had not only maintained their love in all they overcame, but just as stated in this unknown quote, they strengthened it. Their love was made stronger through their shared experience in triumph over adversity and challenge. With this came a refining of commitment and devotion to each other. As well as this there was an ever tightening of  their bond with Ross declaring to Demelza in 'The Angry Tide' that life without her would be "..intolerable, unthinkable, beyond bearing..".

 

12 days of Christmas in the Story of Ross and Demelza Poldark (Pt1- The Early Years)

 

Journeying through the Poldark saga it becomes evident that Christmas and to some degree the New Year was often earmarked as a significant time period in it. Though the twelve books cover thirty three years of Ross and Demelza's married life, naturally Graham did not cover each and every one of their Christmases. However, this blog is a train journey through 8 of the 12 Christmases which he did refer to in some significant detail in the first seven books before the time jump. The remaining ones in the last five books after the jump are covered in part 2 covering the later years, here. 

Whether it was to mark a celebratory turning point, a time of crisis or some kind of resolution, Graham seemed to use Christmas as a point where there would be some key development in the overall love story of Ross and Demelza. 

Ross - Book 1

December 1787 -  A Triumph, A Happy Couple, A Perfect Ending 

Location: Trenwith

This Christmas in the story is right at the end of the first book. It was one of the most special in terms of showing how far Ross and Demelza had come in their lives in contrast to how they were at the start of the story. As newly weds of six months it was very celebratory and triumphant. Having faced rejection by his then love Elizabeth in favour of his cousin Francis Poldark, the story began with Ross as a depressed and desolate man. As if he were the wrongdoer her sharp responses to him on this and a sour confrontation with her at her wedding left him riding home feeling that 'This was the darkest hour of all.' However in speaking of his plot to a woman's magazine in 1977 Winston Graham referred to the key development as the "..engaging and vital character of Demelza, who by now was intent on altering the shape of the story." (*)  Certainly Demelza changed  Ross's life and for this Christmas event Ross debuted her at Trenwith as his wife with Graham concluding that 'It had been Demelza's evening.' Whilst he also mentioned that 'She had come through a searching test with remarkable success.', the other major test was whether Ross's love for Demelza would be shaken when face to face with his first love Elizabeth. At this point in the story and at the end of this first book Demelza had cause to be joyful as she thought that  'After a whole seven hours in Elizabeth's company he still wanted me at the end...After a talk all to themselves with her making eyes at him like a she-cat, he still came to me.' And later that night they made love. 

12 days of Christmas in the Story of Ross and Demelza Poldark (Pt2- The later Years)

 

This blog follows on from part one of the twelve days of Christmas blog documenting the key days of Christmas/New Year in the Poldark Saga that form part of Ross and Demelza's love story. This previous one covers eight of the twelve from the early years and can be found here. In this blog the focus is on the Christmas periods of the later years in the last five books.

The first seven books do hone down on the Ross and Demelza's story at a time when despite their ardent love for each other, there were so many issues and dramas which brought with it high romance but also crisis and beautiful reconciliations. There was a pattern of one or all of these elements being brought to the fore at Christmas. However though it can be assumed that the books after the time jump are focused on the children, the reminders that Ross and Demelza were central to the story are apparent and the happenings at this special time of year were mainly told through their perspective rather than just the children's. There were points of celebration in their own love and life together and also points of crisis as parents through their children's woes and which they were affected by. 

Love For Better Or Worse (Ross and Demelza Poldark: The Love Story Pt7)

Art work of @veraAdxer_Art

If it is true that the greatest love stories are those that bring the reader (or viewer) on a complete emotional rollercoaster with the couple, then the love story of Ross and Demelza Poldark should be in this league too. The last blog 'Love To Cherish, Forgive and Forget' documented how their love had an almost divine quality to it in their ability to forgive each other for the disappointments they caused to each other over the years. Also in addition to that, this nature was found in their not holding on to past wrongs and though they may have been upset and bitter at circumstances, it was also found in their ability to eventually move forward without any underlying bitterness directed towards the other. At the end of 'The Angry Tide' they spoke of keeping on with 'living, learning and most of all, loving each other' but this seventh blog in their love story series looks at just how they truly demonstrated this credo and continued to always beat the odds stacked against them to bring them down. So as well as enjoying the good times they were able get through the bad and remain in love throughout. Where other marriages might have collapsed under the pressure (and some did), theirs stood its ground in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer, in good and in bad and always for better and for worse. 

An Unbreakable Blue Print 

To start with it is not hard to see that Graham laid down the blue print of a partnership in Ross and Demelza that would become unbreakable and therefore would then be able to weather the 'worst' parts of their life and love together and yet to remain still standing. After all, the start of their relationship actually began during the worst periods of their lives and through their connection they brought each other through that to better times. This was simply by the impact they had on the other. The 'Falling in Friendship' blog documented that from the start they were each other's saviour in some respect. From friendship grew a love with the rare nature of being true and steadfast. The first half of the well known bible passage on love from 1 Corinthians 13 was cited in the previous blog on forgiveness as it reflected qualities in Ross and Demelza's love which made them able to handle their disappointments of each other in a loving way and as if their love was real. The remaining half is that 'Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstances. Love never ends..' (1 Corinthians 13:7-8a) Going on to look at how or why Ross and Demelza were able to get through their bad times together it seems that this passage holds the answer. Simply because theirs was a love that was the real love described there.

Love To Cherish, Forgive And Forget (Ross and Demelza Poldark: The Love Story Pt 6)

Art work  of @vera adexer

"There is no love without forgiveness and there is no forgiveness without love."

Bryant H McGill 

There is no doubt that shortly after their marriage from August 1787 Ross and Demelza enjoyed a honeymoon period of newly wedded and mutual love. This went from the last fifth of the first book (Ross Poldark) towards the middle of the second book (Demelza) where Graham gradually started to seep aggravators and joy spoilers into their marriage which served to test their love. Ross and Demelza in their story did seem so obviously to demonstrate for each other a love that fits the essence of the key quotes highlighted in the blog 'Not Happy You Are Happy Ross' (which explored Elizabeth's love or lack of love for Ross). This includes the scholarly definitions that 'To Love is to will the good of another'. Also those sayings which emphasise that love requires a selflessness as it is selfishness rather than hate that is the opposite of love. However, whilst they were hero and heroine they were not flawless individuals and in the absence of their complete perfection of character they made mistakes which sometimes caused upset and hurt to the other. This is the sixth blog in the love story series of Ross and Demelza and looks at how they caused disappointment to each other but with a current of love charging their union at all times they were able to overcome them and always loved, cherished and more significantly forgave each other, and in a sense forgot or did not hang on to the other's wrongs. 

With Ross and Demelza Graham had established from an unexpected union a love that made them both happy. One that for Ross brought him a happiness which was the 'greatest of all', which he prayed to God to hold on to. One that for Demelza put a crown of happiness on her and caused her to blossom. In order for their disappointments in each other to be all the more disappointing and potentially threatening it was relevant and meaningful for Graham to first establish Ross and Demelza as this loving and happy couple beforehand. He wrote lovely scenes cataloguing their wedded bliss but also of the continuing shifts in their relationship which highlighted the true partnership that they were forming in the first couple of books. But also they highlighted a slightly different dependency that was emerging between them. 

Romancing Before The Storms

As Ross and Demelza bore the first fruit of their love with their child Julia in the second book (Demelza), there was much affection, loving and humorous dialogue between them. The scene of Ross slipping back home as Demelza played the spinet only for him to creep up on her like a 'tom cat' is one example. It is heart-warming romance as they then playfully wrestled over a ball invitation that in the excitement they eventually ripped in half before Ross '..gave up the struggle and caught her to him and kissed her.'  Ross making fun of her as they read each half of the torn invitation together, and then cross examining a guilty Demelza over Garrick's crockery breakages concluded in mutual laughter as they then '....sat down on the settle and giggled together.' Clearly this was quite the picture of marital bliss for the reader to swoon over. Ross was clearly a man in love and who was actually quite excited himself to take his wife to her first ball.

He expressed his love further by going far out of his way to arrange surprises for her. Purchasing a very expensive dress and brooch for her to wear at the ball, and secretly arranging for her to receive these at short notice beforehand was probably one of the most premeditatedly romantic gestures that he made in their marriage. However it was the night of this ball that they had their 'first' notable argument.  The beauty still, was that it was one that still ended with quite an endearing and unifying scene of marital partnership. But this we would find was often the case after most of their fall outs.

The Greatest Love Above Any Other (Ross and Demelza Poldark: The Love Story -Pt5)

Art of Vera Adex @Veraadexer_Art

This is the fifth blog in the series for the love story of Ross and Demelza Poldark. It follows from the last one (The Magic of the 'Fall' in Love) where during a moonlit night Ross declared his love for Demelza. So now that a mutual love between Ross and Demelza had been established in the journey so far, what was next to do was to build on this. In doing so it was clear that the next phase was Graham demonstrating that from its almost clumsy and slightly angst beginning bloomed a love that was beautiful, passionate and strong. A love which to Ross he discovered '...carried the knowledge of beauty in its heart.' With most readers falling for them as hero and heroine, protagonist and co-protagonist, and both extremely good hearted and likeable people, the ingredients for good will for their love are secured. Now was to build on that love and establish that Ross and Demelza meant more to each other than any other person and therefore that their love for each other truly was a love above any other. 

A saving grace 

Once Ross fell in love with Demelza it was evident that their love was building and becoming something quite special. Demelza continued to be a light for Ross in the dark and his joy on a joyless day. For example when returning from Trenwith for Uncle Charles's funeral '..Ross's annoyance began to leave him at the prospect of seeing Demelza again.' As Demelza's happiness was also reflected in her running and skipping to join him, for him it was a '..peculiar pleasure to see her face light up..' Their love and joy in each other was now undoubtedly mutual and there was further confirmation that she had altogether changed his experience and mood in life. For instance, in referring to the time he returned from war hoping to marry Elizabeth but finding her engaged to his cousin, Ross told Demelza that "Before I found you, when I came back from America things looked black for me..." The contrast clearly being that it was Demelza who had since brought him out of that darkness. His thoughts there were reminiscent of his thoughts not long after marriage to Demelza that '..those few bad moments when Elizabeth called were almost forgotten and altogether discarded.' Demelza had turned things around for him. Also not long after the marriage Verity then gives the reader a third party perspective

The Magic of the 'Fall in Love' (Ross and Demelza Poldark: The Love Story -Pt5)

This is the fifth blog journeying through the Love story of Ross and Demelza Poldark. So far as documented in those earlier blogs we have seen them as strangers meeting and falling into friendship with each other as they seemed to offer each other something the other needed. Then there was Demelza under threat by her father to leave Nampara deciding on an romantic encounter with Ross. Next was the actual attempt by Demelza to seduce Ross with his mother's blue dress and a spirit of her at hand to open Ross's mind to Demelza so that the attempt ignited a 'raging desire' in Ross that brought them to be lovers in one night. The fourth blog 'Marry Demelza' explores the reasons why beyond Demelza dreams Ross' decided within two days of that night to make Demelza his wife. 

Without Demelza simply just becoming Ross's mistress (but instead his fiancé'), the way was paved and Ross's mind sought for a union between them by way of holy matrimony. However, with him not initially being in love with Demelza this blog focuses on what was yet to be another milestone in the love story. This is whereby their romantic union on 6th August 1787 was eventually legitimised with Ross falling in love with his wife just six weeks after they were married against the backdrop of what was a magically inspired moonlit night.   

A Flowering Couple

Digital art of Vera Adxer 

It is important to set the scene before Ross realised he was in love with Demelza. The foundations were positive and Graham documented that against the blackness Ross confessed her felt after returning to Cornwall to marry Elizabeth and finding she had made other plans, Demelza was a light to shoo away the dark. In short Demelza was illuminating. She had already brought him some amusement and good company to Ross as his best friend replacing Verity in this role for some years beforehand. But as his new wife, a woman still blossoming, she had far more to bring and this made it easy for Ross to fall in love quite soon after they married. It came from within her. From Demelza's perspective, having already declared to Ross 'I live only for you.', Ross's decision to marry her within two days of their special night was a 'Golden crown to her happiness..' This was a happiness that was way beyond just being able to stay at Nampara instead of having to return to her father. And after the actual wedding readers are told that even more thereafter 'her personality flowered overnight.' However, though Ross was pleased that he at least still found her desirable, and it was also quite positive that he acknowledged that 'If one overlooked her humble beginnings she was a not an unsuitable match for an impoverished farmer squire.' that thought of his was still hardly romantic. So at this stage in the love story we have a married couple with only one spouse truly in love. Of course in those days with marriages of convenience being the lay of the land, this was not such an uncommon or disastrous happening and for Ross 'There was no going back for him, even if he had wished it, which he found he did not.' It is at least a happy relief that he was not regretful about both his first night with Demelza and then his decision to marry her. But as readers that is surely not good enough. Mutual love is the goal!

Growing Into Each Other

The first phase of Ross and Demelza's married life had him and Demelza in different places emotionally. Demelza enjoyed her haze of happiness and being a dutiful wife to Ross who '...did what he said, no less eagerly, no less unquestioningly, and with a radiant good will to illuminate it all.' The language and imagery Graham used in describing Demelza including as 'flowering overnight' and 'illuminating it all' is where readers can see how Graham certainly continued this theme of her still bringing beauty and warmth to Ross's life. Whatever it was it was something good! Also it should reinforce to the reader that the help Demelza was afforded in her attempted seduction of Ross was indeed in a positive cause. As a reminder that is where Graham had written that Demelza's initial attempt to seduce Ross (her coquetry) had failed painfully but that 'nature was coming to her help.' As Demelza radiated like a sunshine and Graham wrote that  'As id to collaborate with Demelza's happiness, the summer was the warmest for many years... ' he continue not just to personify Demelza as light and sunshine but also to document a positive union with with her and nature and as if this development in the story having had Ross's mother's blessing, continued to have natures and perhaps the author's too. That said it is clear that this together with true happiness was still an alien concept to Ross. Although he was proving to be a considerate husband and to her surprise and relish was granting Demelza's wifely domestic requests, such as room changes to protect her precious flowerbeds, in the early weeks of his marriage he struggled with embracing, recognising or understanding the flowering of his marriage before his own eyes and how they were becoming more of a unit.

Before Ross fell in love with Demelza there are three references to Demelza having 'already grown in to his life' or simply that she was 'growing' more and more into it. In this repetition it is clear that Graham was conveying to the reader the naturalness and 'meant to be' nature of the union whilst also documenting Ross's sense of confusion and unease about the transition of two separate Demelzas into one. This was Demelza servant and friend Demelza of the day and then the stranger Demelza of the night with the pretty face and fresh body that 'he took and owned as a plaything of passion,..' (*First edition text of Ross Poldark). Graham reported that Ross was 'perturbed' by this and that he 'half despised' it. It was not until he began to see Demelza as a complete wife as one woman instead of two separate entities of stranger and a friend, that a shift in Ross occurred. This coincided with him realising he had fallen in love with her and what he feared, he should not have despised after all.

Love By The Light Of The Silvery Moon

And 'Everything was just right'

Many readers will take Ross's declaration of love on the night of the pilchard catch as the day (or night) when he fell in love with Demelza. He did too. This was in early August. Sixth of August to be precise. Therefore it was six weeks after they were married. Of course it is not an unlikely concept that just like Demelza grew into his life that Ross falling in love was also a gradual process for him rather than a feeling that simply developed in a moment on a boat with her. One could easily speculate that the process had begun earlier and just wormed its way to fruition and also to Ross's consciousness that evening. In a way that had to be so as he feel in love with Demelza, the wife as a person and that occur with the peeling away of character and the liking of this. Earlier when Ross had supper with Demelza he had noted that there was no difference between that evening and the evening when he first slept with her. However his further thoughts (or narration) were 'But something had changed. He was content.' When suggesting the idea of watching the pilchard catch to an excited Demelza 'He could not work up such excitement over the trip, but he could and did find pleasure in her pleasure.' 

jIndeed the idea of Ross resisting or rather being in disbelief of his own happiness and his feelings in Demelza is repeated even during his boat trip with her. 'He found, quite to his surprise, that he was happy. Not merely happy in Demelza's happiness but in himself. He could not think why.' It is a wonder how long it had been that he felt this way before identifying why and attributing this to Demelza. Yet at this point he also had a feeling that 'Everything was just right.' With this there is a sense of this being a far cry from his doomed relationship with Elizabeth where everything had been just so wrong (and continued to be). Again the idea of everything being 'just right' conjures this image of the stars aligning to bring this to being and this being the same as that 'nature' that had helped to bring them together on the blue dress night. Now Ross's feeling seemed to confirm that this was indeed for a cause that was to eventually feel 'just right' to him and perhaps was meant to be.

Ten Moons Of Romance (A Magical Scene For A Fall In Love)

There is no doubt that the pilchard catch date night, was to excuse the pun, a magical foreplay for Ross's first official realisation of love for Demelza and secondly his declaration of it to her. The stage was quite literally set for this romantic landmark in their relationship with plenty of romantic trimmings thrown in. Ross and Demelza in a boat alone together and having worn his mother's old dress on the night she sought to seduce him, Graham now had Demelza wearing Ross's old skin coat that belonged to him as a boy. Typically with all else seeming to align perfectly and everything being 'just right', just at Grace's blue dress fit Demelza well Graham tells us also that Ross's old coat also 'now just fitted her.' Their surroundings seemed to conspire to add to the magically charged night since 'The sea was calm tonight...' and there was a 'moonlit sky'. Then there were the cottage lights, lanterns on the beach, blue white waters of the cove and additional movie magic scenery where 'The moon lit up the scene with an unreal twilight.' In addition to that there was a kind of isolated intimacy in the scene of Ross and Demelza in the boat. It was like them being at a party full of people but with them feeling themselves to be the only two in the room. Or perhaps it is the reader that might feel this way for them as we are told that they rowed away in the boat and '..all the voices and human activity slowly faded...into a little confined murmur in the great night'. Whilst Ross said "Everyone is happy tonight.", he is noted to have said this 'half to himself'. So it is as if there was a slow dawning to him of understanding and embracing what he was feeling, and on this occasion the reason why.

Just in case there should be doubt that Graham was making this an epic night of romance for them, even before Ross and Demelza return to the beach to head home together, and before the description of the 'unreal twilight' there had been ten references to the moon or it's moonlight in this section of the book setting out their romantic night out. Ahead of this when Ross had first asked Demelza about taking the boat out to watch the pilchard catch he introduced the concept of the moon as one the reader would gradually see was of significance when he said "And the moon is up. What if we rowed round to Sawle and watched them putting down the tuck net." But thereafter the ten references are all from Graham in narration. He started by setting the scene and telling the reader that it was a warm still evening with the 'three-quarter moon' already high. Two paragraphs later he narrated that the jutting rocks from the cliffs between Nampara Cove and Sawle Bay stood in silhouette 'against a moonlit sky' and as if to remind the reader, two paragraphs later from that having described Ross and Demelza sitting in their boat watching the locals pulling in their catch in calm weather, he devoted a one paragraph to a single sentence saying 'And tonight there was a moon.'  

So in light of all those references in quick succession if there is one visual that Graham sought to imprint on the reader's mind about what this night of Ross falling in love with Demelza was like for them, at the very least it was that it was 'moonlit'. But not just that. He continued so that we were told it was lit by a 'cornish' and 'friendly' moon. Again, nature appeared to be on Ross and Demelza's side with its good will towards them. And then Graham is more forward in how the moon was an active participant adding to the magic of the night. Apart from where he made it a fantasy scene referring to the 'unreal twilight.' he at one point described that '...the moonlight seemed to convert the fish into heaps of coins....' and that later 'the the moon on it's downward path came near the coast line and picked out a silver stitching on the water'. Graham also intermingled other elements of wonder into the scene. For instance at the moment of anticipation there were cheers when the fish came, the water was described as bubbling and frothing about them as Graham wrote of the catch Ross and Demelza watched, saying 'It was the miracle of Galilee enacted over again in the light of the cornish moon...fish, as big as herrings, jumbled together in their thousands, jumping, wriggling, glinting....' As Graham wound the night down, he yet again highlighted the significance of the moon being such that it did not go unnoticed by Ross and Demelza. In fact he wrote that at a point they gave it their full attention stating that 'For a while neither of them made a move and they  watched the moon set.' As if to give the moon it's due it was only then that Ross and Demelza walked the beach hand in hand towards home. 

Indeed all this makes for a magical date and the perfect foreplay for when Ross took Demelza by surprise and lifted her out of the boat as if she were indeed his most precious and cherished woman. And then to kiss her! So if this was a movie, there might have been a few teary eyes and many a heart melted by the romance of it all.

A kiss like the first - A kiss of love

Demelza and Ross's kiss on the beach is not to be under played either. In a way Graham made this as significant as if it were a first kiss. This is through Demelza's thoughts. It occurred to her that 'He had never kissed her before except in passion.' Therefore it also served as another marker and advance notice of the shift in Ross before his looming declaration of love. This is because the kiss really did mark the first time he had kissed her as a spontaneous urge based on his feelings rather than just in the throws and heat of sexual arousal. And so instead of Graham referring to Ross seeing Demelza as his friend, servant and stranger, they had reached a milestone and yet also this other marker where as they walked the beach with an element of unity hand in hand Graham emphasises this idea stating that now 'They were a man and a woman, with no inequality between them.' Indeed something had changed and this time Ross was not 'perturbed' by this. Instead, and once again Graham wrote of Ross  'I am happy, he thought again.' and that '....now something is happening to me, to us, transmuting our shabby little love affair.' So for once he was able to identify the reason for his contentment and that it was to do with Demelza. He realised that his love affair with her was not at all shabby but instead meaningful and the cause of his happiness. Some twenty five years later Graham would confirm that Ross would continue to feel this when when in the 10th book The Miller's dance', he would write that Ross thought of how fortunate he was to '....have this woman whose nature is devoted to loving all life, appreciating the small things, seeking them out.......I follow behind her, knowing my happiness through her.'

It was not often in all of the Poldark books that moths were referred to other than as an annoyance. But following the moth drawn to the flame on Demelza's blue dress seduction night of Ross, and this seeming to be a parallel with his attraction to something he thought he should not be, here Graham now notes that as they approached the house following their romantic adventure 'Moths fluttered away to the stars....'. And so Graham adding the stars into the mix, along with the moon, is just another element to what he earlier referred to as a 'great night'. Even the moths had a magical destination and experience that night! This time, like Ross, the moths were drawn to something that was not at all dangerous to them but quite magical. 

"I'm happy"- "I love you"

The sense of oneness with Ross and Demelza is continued as with the 'air of conspirators' they climbed up the stairs to their room while laughing and where in a tender moment Ross kisses her again and declares "I love you and am your servant." With Ross having previously considered what he had with Demelza to be a 'shabby affair', tonight is the night where Graham writes that Ross found that what he had with her for him now '...carried the knowledge of beauty in its heart.' Ross's reference to himself as her servant is yet another confirmation of a significant change in the nature of this relationship. Although as stated above he had been a good husband and had already been submitting to some of her wifely requests, now fuelled by love, Ross was declaring a change to her that he would seek and dedicate himself to serve her as if he were her servant. A servant that would be meeting her needs rather than the one way dynamic of her being the only one duty bound at his beckon call to serve him. They now have a partnership. '...a man and a woman, with no inequality between them.' Graham confirmed this and here Ross embraced this idea himself.  In fact Ross's comment here, that he was a servant to Demelza was another way of saying what Demelza had first said to him before they married "I live only for you." They both were as in love and as committed to the other as the other was. Later in the story Graham would make a point of outsiders nothing the usual partnership of equality between Ross and Demelza that was untypical in that heavily patriarchal society.  

It is from this part of the story onwards where we are now engaged in a story of mutual love and whilst the blogs in this series will go on to look at their love in the real world, within their circle, in their time of strife and in facing marital temptations, the foundation established so far is heart warming and is surely designed to inspire the reader's support and goodwill going forward. But this foundation is yet to be built upon and strengthened by various test. The next blog 'The Greatest Love Above Any Other' focuses on this. It looks at how from this unexpected beginning and with the thread of nature, and the twist of fate and magic pulling them together, they go on to have a love where they mean more to each other than any other person. Naturally in this they would build a fortress that future obstacles might trouble, but ultimately not put asunder. 

(*) First edition Book one (Ross Poldark)

Ross and Demelza: The Love Story Pt1 (Falling in Friendship)
Ross and Demelza: The Love Story Pt2 (A Blossoming flower desperately seeking romance)
Ross and Demelza: The Love Story Pt3 (Seduction, a blue dress and a spirit of love)

Ross and Demelza: The Love Story Pt5 (The Greatest Love Above Any Other)
Ross and Demelza Poldark: A Stocking full of Love
Demelza Poldark: A Fall from Grace in a fall for Hugh Armitage

Ross Poldark's Fall From Grace (A Thin Line Between Lust And Hate Of Elizabeth)
A Love for Ross Poldark: Elizabeth Pt1 (keeping the faith)
A Love for Ross Poldark: Elizabeth Pt5 (Just a boy and girl attachment)

Seduction, A Blue Dress and a Spirit of Love (Ross and Demelza Poldark: The Love Story- Pt3)

Art of Vera Adexer (@veraAdxer_Art)

In this third blog of the Ross and Demelza Love story series, a significant point has been reached in their relationship which is to essentially move it with the equivalent speed of nought to a hundred, in sixty seconds. The previous blogs look at how they first fell into friendship with each other and then what brought Demelza to make a desperate decision to try and seduce Ross. It's a soft and gentle beginning of their love story so far, but now, (and to excuse the pun) is the climax of the first book as we see how their romantic connection is finally achieved. It is Demelza's well timed discovery of a blue dress with its enchanting appeal to her, together with her seduction plan and a spirit of love, that all combine together to incite, secure and seal the deal. In all this there appears to be this notion of a predetermining force and to begin with it is the blue dress that seemed to reach out to Demelza and which ultimately played such a key role in bringing this romantic union to the fore.

A Fascinating Discovery

Just like the spare room and the magical world in the story of 'The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe' by C.S Lewis, there was initially an element of mystique and fantasy for Demelza in respect of the library room of Nampara. Similarly, like the Narnia children, in exploring the house about a year after coming to Nampara, Demelza stumbled across the library as if it were an out of the way discovery. She found that from the great bed box which she had slept in on her first night at Nampara '..the second door in that bedroom led through into the library.' We are told that with 'fear and fascination' she was pulled in the direction of the room and that '...once inside the room she was never tired of returning to it'. Like the Narnia children her fascination overpowered her fear and she became completely enchanted with this forbidden quarter of Nampara and all its contents while Ross was unaware that she was visiting regularly.

A Blossoming Flower Desperately Seeking Romance (Ross and Demelza Poldark: The Love Story -Pt2)

Art of Vera Adexer (@veraAdxer_Art)

'Perhaps Ross would refuse to let her go. But there was no proper feeling for her on his part, not beyond a kindly interest.' 
Book One- Ross Poldark

As set out in the first part of the series of blogs looking at the Ross and Demelza love story (Falling in friendship), from their very first meeting in April 1784 they fell into a firm friendship with each other effortlessly. Over the course of three years Demelza, as narrated by Graham then became Ross's closest companion in Verity's absence. Despite as told to us in book twelve (Bella) having '..known long before she was seventeen whom she loved and would always love.', Demelza had never intended to do anything about this and certainly not to play the seductress with him. Not when knowing full well that he did not feel the same way. However with an author determined to bring them together, the next stage in their love story would mean that one or both of them would need to turn the tables on their companionship and bring about a romantic encounter. Also the lead up to this had to ensure that as well as there being some driving motive, regardless of Demelza's lack of confidence the success of such an encounter could be a possibility. Especially when looking back on their journey to piece together how this could have been possible. That person of the two would be Demelza and here we looked at what made her come to a point where she would take the gamble and suddenly feel a need to kick start what would become the beginning of the romantic part of her love story with Ross and also where it simultaneously became physical.

An eye for the blossoming of Demelza

Although Ross was not in love with Demelza it still needed to be plausible that he would even be tempted to sleep with her, let alone willing to do so in the end. After all if it was Prudie who came before him in a blue dress it just still would not have happened. There would surely be no temptation or will on Ross's part. The fact that his relationship with Demelza had moved on beyond friendship to companionship was already a significant foundation and starting point. So too was it that just beforehand Ross had begun to notice Demelza as a 'flowering maiden' rather than just a young girl who was formerly a street urchin. Not long after her arrival at Nampara three years before he had thought that 'She was not an ill-looking girl and had a good clear skin and a quick mobility of expression; her eyes were intelligent and very frank.' He had also thought that 'In another couple of years some young miner like Jim Carter would be courting her.' However three years forward he noted further changes.

In fact in April 1787, a month or so before Demelza decided to seduce him, when he was hosting a business meeting to discuss the preliminary works on the Wheal Leisure mine, Ross had noticed the gentlemen noticing Demelza. In stealing a look himself Ross saw that Demelza was now 'A well grown and developing girl, barely recognizable as the scrawny half starved urchin he had swilled under the pump three years ago.' The change in Demelza's overall look is also confirmed by her father. Upon seeing her to ask her to return home he took '...in the full change in her, the way she had advanced, matured, grown to a woman's shape.' Such was the change that his next thought was to ask if she was living in sin with Ross. Nevertheless despite this change it still did not occur to Ross to link himself with her romantically. Indeed the seduction of Ross by Demelza would quite literally turn everything on its head with regards to how he saw her. However it was a factor that before and within this seduction he had already begun not to see her as a street urchin but rather as a blossoming girl which he found to his surprise that he ultimately desired.