"There was the theme I wanted to express, dealing with the Ross- Elizabeth-Francis triangle...Into it also had come the engaging and vital character Demelza, who by now was intent on altering the shape of the story."
Winston Graham -'Woman Magazine' 10th December 1977
For a lot of the three and half years between Ross Poldark's return to Cornwall and his marriage to Demelza he was depressed due to Elizabeth not waiting for him and marrying Francis. However it is not a coincidence that Winston Graham wrote dialogue for Ross after this upset whereby Ross expressed that he wanted to find a 'way out', and that three years later, and while coinciding with Demelza being off age, Graham narrated Ross's thoughts that marriage to her is what was the 'obvious' 'way out' for him. This post is a follow up to 'Marrying Demelza: The 'Obvious Way Out For Ross (Duty or Desire)'. Inspired by Graham's comment to Woman Magazine in 1977 that Demelza was "the engaging and vital character" who was set up to alter the shape of the story, this and a second follow up post will cover how these qualities presented themselves and contributed to making Ross's decision to marry Demelza one that Ross never regretted and which even before he fell in love with her 42 days later, was a satisfying one for him. This part one post will focus on Graham's description of Demelza’s character as 'vital' and how this was put into action and demonstrated by her blocking Elizabeth from leading Ross into a self serving trap that she stood to gain far more from than Ross could. It will explore what Ross was saved from and therefore this will examine extensively what Ross's path with Elizabeth might have had in store for him if he went that way instead of choosing one with Demelza. It will then also explore how Demelza was crucially a vehicle for Ross to have a change of philosophy so that he would have the mindset to reject Elizabeth and chose her instead.
Vital Demelza's 'Altering' Effect: Saving Ross From Elizabeth
Demelza was a 'vital' character for many reasons and this includes how she impacted characters other than just Ross. However, this element of her character’s purpose, is naturally most significant in how she impacted on the life of the saga’s hero. Essentially Demelza was vital to Ross by becoming his wife and turning him from a miserable man to a happy and content one where she became the centre of his life and gave him a fuller life rather than the half life he had been living before he married her. Graham therefore refers to Demelza in quite strong terms by suggesting that she was ‘vital’ because presumably in respect of Ross, she single-handedly did alter the shape of the story and specifically his life. In relation to this there is no doubt that the ‘Bluebell scene’ is where Graham set Demelza off to work in her role of altering Ross’s life. This was specifically away from Elizabeth's clutches for a second time.
As set out in 'Reaching Out For Ross', as a married woman and following the decline of her marriage to Francis which followed the birth of Geoffrey Charles and what Graham later narrated in 'The Angry Tide' was her 'excessive' obsession with him, Elizabeth turned up at Nampara a couple of days before Ross decided to marry Demelza. It seemed that this was in order to, at the very least entice Ross into an emotional affair with her. Demelza’s appearance stopped Elizabeth in her tracks! In doing so, just from this it so happened that Demelza saved Ross from the danger Elizabeth presented in what would likely and eventually have led to Ross being pulled back into the depths of disarray or to a misery like he had been in the years before. This is just as he was clawing himself out of this with the help of time and also Demelza's help through his pleasurable companionship with her.
There was already a strong narrative in the books which even Ross and Elizabeth accepted individually, of their characters not being well matched for a long-term relationship. However, even setting that aside, the danger of Elizabeth is that even after an initial honeymoon period a Ross and Elizabeth affair would surely have become a dire situation which in any event would have led to a dead end. After all, even if issues with their incompatibility miraculously did not arise or otherwise did not deter them, Francis's death could not be foreseen and of course would not tastefully be hoped and waited for. Even still, Francis did not die for a further five years! Just as set out in the previous post 'Ross: Moving On From Elizabeth',
by Demelza singlehandedly, though inadvertently stopping Elizabeth in her tracks, she would send Ross on a different path which based on Winston Graham's comment to the Radio Times in 1977 that Elizabeth was "...not a very nice character.", presumably was a better path for him, if it was to be away from falling back into some king of romantic relationship with her. This is especially one with a dead end or otherwise one that depended on the future death of Elizabeth's husband or a messy separation from him beforehand.
Elizabeth: A Route To A Dead End For Ross
Gambling On An Ideal-The Porcelain Galetea That Loved But Did Not Love Back
'Elizabeth, the loved but the unloving, the Galatea who never woke.'
'Jeremy Poldark' Internal Book 2 Chapter 2
It is necessary to expand on the idea of Demelza offering Ross a better alternative path and therefore more about the concept of a 'dead' and likely unhappy end in a path with Elizabeth. This is on at least two levels. Indeed, it has to be recognised that Elizabeth was a lingering presence contrasting against Demelza as Ross's other love and actually as his first love. By the time of Ross's marriage to Demelza and for the remainder of the saga, Ross's experience was that Elizabeth's behaviour and decisions had been the opposite of satisfying for him. Despite Ross believing himself to be in love with Elizabeth based on an idealised relationship with her, in actual reality Elizabeth was the cause of his upset and depression to begin with but she also continued thereafter to disappoint, frustrate and at one point violently angered Ross during the course of the saga. Though Ross did have some marital upset and frustration in marriage with Demelza, overall the balance was tipped heavily to a loving and happy marriage with a soulmate type figure that he was compatible with. Accordingly Ross once wondering about him and Demelza thought '....if there had ever been a couple who got less on each other's nerves than they did.' ('The Angry Tide' Internal Book 1 Chapter 8 pt2) That was not quite the case with Ross and Elizabeth and this was without them even having had a long running relationship.
'Refinement of taste? Was that all this woman had to offer?'
Dwight considering Elizabeth following Francis's attempted suicide and revelations about his marriage.
'Jeremy Poldark' Internal Book 2 Chapter 2
In addition to basic compatibility, on the most important matter there is no question that Demelza was loved by Ross and loved him back without end. Whereas Elizabeth was a more questionable figure in respect of her love for Ross. Naturally this would heighten the gamble for Ross if he had chosen a romantic reconciliation with Elizabeth, rather than pursuing a new path with Demelza. For instance, it is quite worrying that seven years into the saga when George was challenging the grounds for what he felt was Elizabeth's ".....vast affection for Ross..." by reeling off to her a list of Ross's flaws, Graham wrote that in respect of Elizabeth 'Her feeling for Ross had never quite been definable to her, and there was some grain of perverseness which took pleasure in seeing the other side.' Elizabeth's pleasure in hearing criticism of Ross makes the idea of her love of him as questionable as her vaguely worded confession of love for him two chapters later at a dinner party. Either way Graham did not build a narrative around Elizabeth of her holding an undeniable, unbreakable love for Ross. At best Elizabeth wavered on the question of loving of Ross and was confused on this for some significant time including while he was at war when her heart should have been fonder with the absence. This is as it was for Caroline when Dwight was away at war and when she genuinely feared him dead. Of course this in itself undermines what love Elizabeth may have felt for Ross and her certainty at one point that she loved Francis 'better' and then her change of mind does not make Elizabeth a sure bet for Ross either. Her changeableness is a narrative concept Graham confirmed in 'Warleggan' (Book 3 Chapter 10) when he wrote Elizabeth's own personal reflections where she seemed to acknowledge that she was a 'changeable woman'. This trait would be a problem when considering whether she would be capable of holding a firm enduring love of Ross within a marriage to him and therefore being a better option for Ross than Demelza was. With all the challenges and the ups and downs that would have come with this, especially in the earlier financially tougher days of marriage, it is hard to be confident Elizabeth would not change her mind on love of Ross again. In which case he would be consigned to a loveless marriage just as Francis eventually experienced.
In addition to these concerns about Elizabeth's attitude towards Ross and the quality and nature of her love (if any), there were other points of concern for their life together. For instance, occasions where Elizabeth essentially gaslit Ross in order that she could maintain a façade of angelic innocence where she was not innocent and where sometimes unbeknown to Ross, blame, deceit or disloyalty had been on her side. This of course was at his cost and as addressed in 'Elizabeth: Not Happy You are Happy Ross' and 'Absence Of A Devastated Heart', Elizabeth, though perhaps feeling entitled to Ross, never presented as devastated by being separated from him and neither was she all that mindful of his best interests or upholding his happiness. Instead she was actually intent on disturbing this along with his peace of mind when it was to serve her own end and desire for his attention.
In comparison to how others such as Rosina Hoblyn dealt with unrequited love (such as in respect Drake rejecting her for Morwenna) quite graciously, and without trying to undermine Drake's happiness with his chosen one, Elizabeth was a poor example to follow with her lack of real inner graciousness towards Demelza. Instead she had a potentially destructive sense of entitlement to Ross but only after she fell out of love with Francis and Demelza had snapped Ross up. But all of that along with other indications are relevant as they do not bode well for how Elizabeth would have been for Ross with regards to her true character and their long-term compatibility. Then there is the narrative born out of Dwight questioning whether all she had to offer a marriage was a refinement of taste for what was hoped to be a loving and committed marriage. This adds to the concern and projection that any initial love with Ross may not have been long lasting for both of them in the end. This is especially so with the narrative of her as the 'Galatea' who never loved, even when she was shown love herself. It means that Ross taking a bet on Elizabeth would have been a high risk one. This is therefore what Demelza's intervention saved him from.
Obviously Demelza’s influence on Ross’s destiny is only significant and only makes her so 'vital' to him in a positive way if it truly was altering it for Ross for the better. This really does make the question of a path with Elizabeth as a good alternative and even Ross then enjoying a better love and life with her, quite a pertinent one. Certainly that question and answer is worthy of it's own post but it could be said that having commented on aspects of their relationship after Ross's return to Cornwall and after Elizabeth's defection to Francis deep into the saga, that it would be fairer to also judge Elizabeth’s relationship with Ross before and during when he was in America in the war. This would be in order to see if they ever had what looked like a healthy loving relationship. However, with the little Graham shared of Ross and Elizabeth's pre war romance, even this seemed unimpressive due to some retrospective narrative provided by Graham.
In the text of the first edition of the first book, Graham wrote that even Ross noticed in retrospect judging from Elizabeth's letters sent to him at war, that she seemed to have been losing interest in him at that early stage in their romance while he was away fighting for his country. But even Elizabeth undermined her love and romance with Ross by considering it 'childish' in her personal thoughts just as Graham wrote in the first edition of the second book. She also undermined it having told Ross that she did not love him and their romance had just been a "...boy-and-girl attachment..." ('Ross Poldark' Internal book 1 Chapter 7 pt2) It is quite relevant that Graham did not choose to ever present a healthy loving image of Ross and Elizabeth's relationship. This was neither before and while he was at war or even as friends once he returned from war. There are issues with the quality of Elizabeth's with Ross and the moments were she demonstrated this to any significant degree without agenda. Certainly there is no portion of their relationship at any stage that could compete or be compared with his relationship with Demelza as a friend and when it became romantic. The book narrative shows that Demelza did more to brighten up Ross's life as a friend than Elizabeth did and even at her young age he relied on her for counsel. None of this is therefore convincing testimony that a path to Elizabeth even at the earlier stage of their romance pre war, would have been a happy one for Ross. It proved not to be, which was why Ross was left single and available for Demelza in the first place!
In light of all this above, for the average reader reading along in current time or in hindsight, it would be fair to acknowledge that Demelza as the 'obvious way out' option was ultimately and more than probably more satisfying for Ross than the option of gambling on a love path with Elizabeth would have been. This is also now with the hindsight that Ross later knew his love for Elizabeth was based on a idealisation. Indeed, Ross did eventually revealed that his devotion had been based on him inflating Elizabeth's value beyond her true value. So going down the path that Elizabeth led Ross is likely to have seen Ross eventually experience the unhappiness that comes with the slow revelation of incompatibility over time. Saving Ross from this indeed heightens and validates Demelza’s status as a ‘vital’ character for Ross.
Swerving a 'Dangerous' Liaison And Red Flags
"My friendship with Francis is deep and of long standing, but friendships have a frailty when a woman comes between. So sometimes have marriage vows, however well meant. I love you, Elizabeth, and that is dangerous."
Ross to Elizabeth 5 months after her marriage to Francis 'Ross Poldark' First edition - Internal book 1 Chapter 11 pt2
Apart from Ross's later emotional awakening of his idealisation of Elizabeth, or even if the gamble on Elizabeth had paid off and she did hold an enduring and positive love for him, it is still the case in any event that any romance between Ross and Elizabeth after she married Francis was doomed from the very beginning. This was not just of Elizabeth’s own doing, since however much she loved him, (if at all), it proved to be not enough, but as alluded to above, before the death of Francis it was also doomed from a practical perspective. Her feeling of loving Francis more and her decision to marry him achieved this. Having previously been warned by Ross in the first edition text of the first book that something between them now that she was married would then be a 'dangerous' thing, not only would this have had little chance of going anywhere orderly and being easily viable, but it would have destroyed his friendship and cousinship with Francis. Of course if it remained a secret then the main benefit would have been weighted on Elizabeth's side by giving her a romantic escape as a bonus away from the loveless marriage that she was already trapped in. Ironically and quite cheekily Elizabeth was trapped in a marriage to the man she had rejected Ross for in the first instance. However, according to Graham's narration in 'The Angry Tide', it was Elizabeth that was responsible for starting the ball rolling on the destruction of her marriage. All it took was the birth of her first child and her finding mother love 'all consuming' and less complex than marital love. Elizabeth's culpability in the demise of her own marriage and also the lack of effort on her side to try to resolve the issues that caused its breakdown is another red flag. That red flag would be about her as a likely primary cause of marital issues routinely and then how she might manage any difficulties in a relationship with Ross.
Demelza's Checkmate: Elizabeth Bows Out
Doom in a relationship can manifest itself in many ways. An affair with Elizabeth would have invited scandal into Ross's life that put him at odds with his family and caused such turmoil. Or to keep it secret would have meant Ross having to be conniving and deceitful. This would then also have been at odds with Ross's principles and sense of morality. In contrast to Elizabeth, for Ross, an elicit emotional and/or physical affair with Elizabeth would have sent him backward from the progress he was making in his journey to move on from her and to have some peace and a decent sense of self. Also more importantly, despite his single status it would have trapped Ross back in an emotional bind for Elizabeth where he would then have been derailed from finding his own path to a good wholesome love and also his own hopefully more successful marriage. Demelza, the apt timing of her first romantic liaison with Ross the night before Elizabeth's visit and Demelza's arrival for what would be the 'bluebell scene' was key in stopping Ross from entertaining the extent of Elizabeth's hopes of some reconciliation. It saw Elizabeth instead scuttle off in recognition that she was 'too late'.
Demelza Presents Another Choice To Ross
Indeed Elizabeth was too late to entice Ross because the night before Demelza had ignited a 'raging desire' in Ross for her which he found after marrying her was still there. In the nick of time Demelza had presented herself as another option for Ross, which he ultimately went with. That was instead of going backwards with Elizabeth. On Elizabeth's side Demelza's acts as a prelude to 'The Bluebell Scene' and therefore what Elizabeth sensed as a result in the atmosphere between Demelza and Ross, made her realise that 'Oh, God, So there is something between them.' This caused Elizabeth to give up her quest. Temporally! Even though Elizabeth would later return to potentially frustrate Ross and Demelza's marriage and to regain her ascendancy with Ross in order to meet her own emotional needs, at this crucial time she rested her quest thinking 'I cant come here again....Too late for me to come here.' Accordingly Demelza’s character was aptly labelled ‘vital’ because of the combination of both reactions from Ross who rejected a romantic reconciliation with Elizabeth in favour of following up what had just started between him and Demelza, and then with Elizabeth feeling out of place with seeing this herself. This was all as a direct result of Demelza's bold advance to Ross the night before. It ensured that Ross really would have the opportunity to experience a love with someone who he later declared was 'better' for him. That would be her! Demelza!
Vital: Changing Ross's Philosophy
Demelza’s Provoking Seduction
"Must every act be dead serious, a weight upon his head and hands? Loving was a recreation; all the poets sang of its lightness, its levity; only the dull clod raised barriers of creed or conscience..... "
Ross Poldark reflecting after Demelza attempted to seduce him ‘Ross Poldark’ Internal Book2 Chapter 6 Pt3
Part of Demelza's success in having the 'vital' and transforming impact on Ross is evident by her being the vehicle for his change of philosophy as to his rather staid, celibate lifestyle. It was key in the final and most crucial stage in his process of 'Moving On From Elizabeth'. Certainly there is no doubt that Demelza’s attempt to seduce Ross in the parlour that 30th May 1787 before he retreated to his bedroom, did more than trigger a ‘raging desire’ for her in him. Without that Ross may not have been quite as able or willing to resist the temptation of the reconnection that Elizabeth was covertly offering him before 'The Bluebell Scene'. There was a change of Ross's mentality that enabled that and Demelza had played her part in that. Graham conveys this when after Ross's retreat from Demelza's clumsy seduction in the parlour, he wrote that ‘In his bedroom he (Ross) was beset by a wave of cynicism of quite surprising violence.’
Essentially it was in his bedroom that Ross had reflections on his life where he considered his moral code and that he was living a monk's lifestyle. Graham's description of this wave of thought as 'quite surprising violence' really establishes that Demelza was a serious instigator in provoking a change of thinking for Ross that might not have happened otherwise. It was also she had given him a jolt and just drastically shaken him up. That jolt prompted reflections by Ross where he went through a significant freeing process. He seemed to realise he was frittering his life away through inhibiting moral obligations that he owed to another woman who was Elizabeth but which were therefore holding him back from enjoying his life. This means that since Demelza's played a part in Ross's change of attitude she also played a part in Ross at least theoretically cutting romantic hopes with Elizabeth when he was brought to thinking that ‘He owed no one anything: certainly not Elizabeth; no fidelity of thought or body. She was nothing any longer to him.’ He only came to think such thoughts because he was being offered something else by this vital character in his life and it force him to have to think about the other woman that was holding him back. Ross doing away with the idea that he was still somehow beholden to Elizabeth because of Demelza is part of the subtle narrative of Demelza as the presumed underdog that actually really was the frontrunner.
A New Philosophy Consolidated - 'Loving Is A Recreation'
"In twenty-seven years he had worked out some sort of philosphy of behaviour, did one throw it over at the first test?
Ross's thoughts to himself after Demelza tried to seduce him.
As covered in 'Marrying Demelza: The 'Obvious Way Out For Ross (Duty or Desire)' R
oss's decision to marry Demelza was less about a moral duty to her and more about embracing life. If he had considered it the 'right thing to do', this was also from his perspective given that he saw the benefits for himself in marrying Demelza and rationalised that ‘It was nothing out-of the-way for the younger gentry of the neighbourhood to tumble their kitchen-maids.’ Ross's decision to take it beyond just 'tumbling' Demelza and to marrying her instead was informed by the new philosophy he was constructing in his mind. He challenged what was the matter with him as he seemed to have ‘No sense of humour to leaven life.’ As with the extract heading the previous paragraph Ross's new thoughts that ‘Loving was a recreation.’ suggest that he saw marriage as a positive move forward that would bring a little more joy to his life. His realisation that he was 'happy' after they married showed that he was right to follow this thinking.
However, at the time, while Ross had asked himself whether he should throw out his serious philosophy held for 27 years at the first test put to him by Demelza, Graham wrote that 'There was a tap on the door'. Ross was being compelled to answer his own question. Clearly Ross's decision to throw out that old philosophy meant that Demelza met no resistance from Ross when she turned for him to unfasten her dress and even when she stopped to confess her lie of needing his help and to given him a get out clause. It was too late by then. Demelza's earlier approach to him which he had rejected had done enough to bring Ross's change of outlook in the aftermath in his reflections, and as he told her years later in 'The Stranger From The Sea' when explaining why it felt like he had seduced her he said "I meant to know you better by morning."
Demelza's Vital and Super Swift Operation
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