Marrying Ross Poldark: Demelza's Daring Gamble In the Shadow Of Elizabeth

 'If Ross had not wished to marry her she would not have fretted for something else: but his decision to make the union legal and permanent, his honouring her with his name, was a sort of golden crown to set upon her happiness.'

'Ross Poldark' Internal book 3 Chapter 1 part 2

On reflection, while Ross's proposal of marriage was an offer which it would have seemed was too good for Demelza to turn down, because of what could be referred to as Ross's 'baggage', it could have been considered a 'risky decision'. Demelza had agreed to marry a man that not only was well above her station but who as the readers were at that point led to believe, was in love with another woman. That woman had her stall set up by Winston Graham as the dream woman of the county. Indeed Elizabeth was written as a most beautiful woman who was Ross's unrequited first love and was also a gentlewoman. In being so Elizabeth was demure and patrician and of Ross's own class. As the excerpt heading this essay expresses, Demelza in her happy go lucky manner of floating through life moved through it with an admirable optimism which meant that while she relished and was illuminated by the opportunity to be Ross's wife, she did not desperately depend on this either. However, in Demelza's naivety she perhaps did not consider marriage to Ross Poldark as a 'daring' gamble or consider the long term implications and challenge that might form a cloud or tension over the marriage indefinitely. This is by virtue of it being a marriage in the shadow of Elizabeth. 

With Elizabeth being the woman Ross had intended to marry originally, accepting Ross's proposal of marriage was potentially Demelza stepping forward to fill Elizabeth's shoes. That would be in respect of the ideal Elizabeth presented and thus Demelza would be the alternative and the replacement at the same time. Putting Demelza's seemingly lowly credentials against Elizabeth's seemingly superior credentials, many, particularly of that time period would likely argue that Demelza was bound to be a woefully poor replacement for Elizabeth and that in time Ross would come to see this and perhaps resent Demelza for this. Then thoughts could be turned to why Demelza did not just stay in her place by marrying a miner or a fellow commoner, and why she instead took on the gamble of marrying Ross when she might always be in Elizabeth's shadow. This post explores the nature of the risk that Demelza took on and why the circumstances were such that she slipped in to this either obliviously or dismissive of it. 

Demelza- Elizabeth's Powerful Obstacle (Pt2 10 Truths On Elizabeth's Astonishments and Humiliations )

'....and they were both aware, while not knowing that the other was aware, that the reconciliation had come too later to count for what it might.'

Winston Graham's narrative as Elizabeth ends her visit to Ross at Nampara ( ‘Ross Poldark’  internal Book 2 Chapter 8 )  

This is a second post continuing on from the lead one titled '10 Truths On Elizabeth's Astonishments and humiliations Pt1 Bud On The Horizon'. That was an introduction to the exploration of this theme (of astonishments and humiliations) as one that Winston Graham imposed on Elizabeth and which was a theme that ran through all aspects of her life. However, in this series of posts it is explored in respect of Elizabeth's interactions within the Ross and Demelza love story. That first and introductory post explored specifically what the theme was about and why Winston Graham may have chosen to direct it so clearly, repeatedly and consistently against Elizabeth within her life experiences generally. It ended off with the first of ten significant scenes which contributed to this narrative against Elizabeth where in that particular scene her lack of influence on Ross to cause him, in respect of the newly on the scene Demelza, to "..send her home.." and also her behaviour which caused Ross to end up fighting with extra strength and passion to do the very opposite, is a bit of an ironic jibe at Elizabeth. That was only as the narrative was kicking  off at that early stage. Of course it all meant that Demelza was somewhat of a bud on the horizon who from that, and given her humble beginnings, would later blossom and become a powerful and successful obstacle to Elizabeth in her quest for Ross's romantic interest and in her quest to have the greater priority and influence over Ross than Demelza did.

This post now covers the second key scene for this theme of Elizabeth’s and the period after the two year time jump in the first book when Demelza had come of age. This is where Elizabeth would experience that Demelza as that bud that was previously just on the horizon, was now in her clear view and had blossomed enough to become an obstacle to her intentions with Ross following the collapse of her marriage to Francis. The scene in focus is the iconic 'Bluebell Scene'. It is actually a landmark milestone in Graham's narrative of astonishment and humiliation for Elizabeth because as well as a significant turning point for Ross and Demelza it is the first shock for Elizabeth that she felt in the moment with this narrative. This was to the extent that it caused her to literally flee the scene. For this reason and because of the many issues it throws up, it is addressed here in this post at some great length while the other key scenes for her theme will be addressed in later posts.

10 Truths On Elizabeth's Astonishments and Humiliations Pt1 (Demelza-Bud on the Horizon)

"Is it such an astonishment that a woman who changed her mind could change it twice?...Well, yes, perhaps it is, for it has always been an astonishment and a humiliation to me."

Elizabeth to Ross ‘Warleggan’ (Internal Book 1 Chapter 3)

This essay explores the theme of Elizabeth's 'astonishment' and 'humiliation' within her interaction with the Ross and Demelza love story. This follows on from the last post ‘A False Impression?: Elizabeth’s Impulsive And Romantic Disclosure To Ross', where Elizabeth introduced the idea of this theme applying to her. As a brief recap that post focused on the scene in ‘Warleggan’ at the Trevaunance party in May 1792 when Elizabeth Poldark told Ross Poldark that some years ago, at a time that she did not clarify, she had discovered that she loved him ‘better’ than Francis. She went on to say that her change of mind in favour of him “…has always been an astonishment and a humiliation to me.” That last post explored this and found that Graham’s narrative elsewhere contradicted Elizabeth’s disclosure and suggested that in Elizabeth's vagueness she had given Ross a false impression. However that does not mean that she did not feel these emotions for other reasons as part of a theme against her.

Marrying Demelza- The Engaging And Vital Character (Pt1 Foiling Elizabeth- Saving Ross)

"There was the theme I wanted to express, dealing with the Ross- Elizabeth-Francis triangle...Into it also had come the engaging and vital character Demelza, who by now was intent on altering the shape of the story."

Winston Graham -'Woman Magazine' 10th December 1977

For a lot of the three and half years between Ross Poldark's return to Cornwall and his marriage to Demelza he was depressed due to Elizabeth not waiting for him and marrying Francis. However it is not a coincidence that Winston Graham wrote dialogue for Ross after this upset whereby Ross expressed that he wanted to find a 'way out', and that three years later, and while coinciding with Demelza being off age, Graham narrated Ross's thoughts that marriage to her is what was the 'obvious' 'way out' for him. This post is a follow up to 'Marrying Demelza: The 'Obvious Way Out For Ross (Duty or Desire)'. Inspired by Graham's comment to Woman Magazine in 1977 that Demelza was "the engaging and vital character" who was set up to alter the shape of the story, this and a second follow up post will cover how these qualities presented themselves and contributed to making Ross's decision to marry Demelza one that Ross never regretted and which even before he fell in love with her 42 days later, was a satisfying one for him. This part one post will focus on Graham's description of Demelza’s character as 'vital' and how this was put into action and demonstrated by her blocking Elizabeth from leading Ross into a self serving trap that she stood to gain far more from than Ross could. It will explore what Ross was saved from and therefore this will examine extensively what Ross's path with Elizabeth might have had in store for him if he went that way instead of choosing one with Demelza. It will then also explore how Demelza was crucially a vehicle for Ross to have a change of philosophy so that he would have the mindset to reject Elizabeth and chose her instead.

Vital Demelza's 'Altering' Effect: Saving Ross From Elizabeth

Demelza was a 'vital' character for many reasons and this includes how she impacted characters other than just Ross. However, this element of her character’s purpose, is naturally most significant in how she impacted on the life of the saga’s hero. Essentially Demelza was vital to Ross by becoming his wife and turning him from a miserable man to a happy and content one where she became the centre of his life and gave him a fuller life rather than the half life he had been living before he married her. Graham therefore refers to Demelza in quite strong terms by suggesting that she was ‘vital’ because presumably in respect of Ross, she single-handedly did alter the shape of the story and specifically his life. In relation to this there is no doubt that the ‘Bluebell scene’ is where Graham set Demelza off to work in her role of altering Ross’s life. This was specifically away from Elizabeth's clutches for a second time. 

Ross Poldark: Moving On From Elizabeth

"Before I found you, when I came home from America things looked black for me. You know why, because I'd hoped to Marry Elizabeth and returned to find her with other plans. That winter it was Verity alone who saved me ....."

Ross to Demelza  'Ross Poldark' Internal  Book 3 Chapter 3 

As the extract above refers to, Ross was in a dark place when after the American war he returned to Cornwall in 1783. His long held dream was shattered to pieces when confronted with the betrayal of his first love, Elizabeth, who having agreed to marry him on his return had failed to 'keep the faith' or rather to prove her love of him and wait. Instead Elizabeth got engaged to, and later married his cousin Francis Poldark. Indeed things seemed to look black to Ross for a long time thereafter. He was essentially in a state of depression living a celibate life for years during which Winston Graham wrote that one of Ross's usual occupations was '....reading and drinking himself to bed.' A post to follow called 'Marrying Demelza (Ross's Satisfying Decision)' covers that life changing development in his life where Ross decided to marry Demelza. She, being a character that Winston Graham referred to as a 'vital' character that would alter the course of his life and whom Ross would eventually secure with, what Graham stated was a 'happy ending'. That post will cover Ross's reasons for marrying Demelza and why it was her that he chose. However there is important pretext that contributed to making marrying Demelza a viable consideration for Ross at the time. One of the reasons was that Ross was ready from an emotional point of view to marry in summer 1787, where he had not been beforehand.  He was ready to move on from Elizabeth and also from wallowing over her.